An Open Letter To My Son On The Eve Of Becoming A Big Brother

Your brother and you will share a special bond that neither your mom or myself were able to experience growing up, being the big brother to a little brother.


Son,

This might be a hard concept for you to understand, because we did tell you at one point that there was a date set that your little brother would come, but now, we are in a waiting game until he is ready to arrive. One of the things that you will understand when you have children of your own is that they have a mind of their own and will arrive on the timetable of their choosing. I’m sorry that we got your hopes up only to crush them… but trust me… your brother is coming… very soon.

Know this though, that when he arrives, there will be some things that change, and others that won’t. There will be times when I am feeding the baby… sitting on the couch, unable to play when you ask me because the baby needs to be fed. You will probably hear some crying at night… not just from the baby, but from mommy and myself who are extremely tired from waking up for the 5th time in one night. We did it with you… still do sometimes.

Our house is going to feel different too. You won’t be able to leave your LEGO lying around on the floor for my feet to walk on in the middle of the night because at some point, the baby will be crawling, be curious what one tastes like, and choke on them. It’s a lesson we all learn that LEGO, while they look like candy, are not in fact sweet… or tasty. We didn’t have that problem with you because when you were a baby, we didn’t have LEGO in the house.

That’s something that you can teach the baby to do… to not put LEGO in his mouth. Be the protecting big brother you will always be from day one.

 

I have no doubt that your little brother and you will fight, but much like our dog who protects you not matter what, you will protect him from any harm that may come his way. It sounds like I’m comparing you to a dog, but had we gotten a dog before we had you, you wouldn’t be here. This is getting off track and I’m digging myself a hole but let me explain that this is a good thing.

Our dog loves you… you love our dog… you both have each other’s back. Am I digging my grave deeper or filling it in a bit?

I grew up being the oldest in the family. So in a way, you already hold a special place in my heart. Even if at times it seems that your little brother is taking a priority in my life, I will always know what you are going through. I will always know that it feels like the younger brother (sister in my case) it seems can get away with just about anything. That’s just the nature of being the big brother. You’ve tested the waters… you know how far you can push us and you have worn us down to the point where your younger brother will be able to do just about anything without any ramifications, yo a point, until you try to tell us who in fact broke the lamp and point fingers at each other.

Here is the thing about being an older brother that you might not grasp yet. You get to experience everything first. You get the experience of daddy crying at kindergarten round-up. You get the experience of dad being on TV and talking about you… and just you without adding in your brother. These are the moments that we will always remember… just you and me… and mommy let’s not forget about her. Your younger brother, may not get to experience some of the things that we have together… hold that against him and bring it up when he is a teenager at some point when you two are fighting… it will make him mad and irritated… it’s fun. Trust me, aggravating your younger sibling is fun.

Maybe I shouldn’t advocate for that now that I am the parent.

You, my son, are going to make an incredible big brother. Nothing will be able to take that from you and your brother. Your brother and you will share a special bond that neither your mom or myself were able to experience growing up, being the big brother to a little brother. Much like your aunt (my younger sister) even though you might not always get along, the two of you are family. You will always love each other and no matter what, you two are brothers. A bond that only the two of you will be able to share.

Here is to you being a big brother.

Love,
Dad

The Rookie Dad

The Rookie Dad is father of 2, husband, TV Producer, runner, and co-founder of Dads Round Table and a contributor to Traveling Dad and Good Men Project.

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