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The Wife Reality Check

My wife read my post about my Wednesday morning and lets just say that she came up with a few reality checks about the post… I guess maybe I over exaggerated somethings in the post and thought I would let her explain herself and bring reality back into the post.  She will from time to time contribute to my blog to bring back into check some of the stories I write that are over the top.

My Dear Husband,

I was prepared to write a scathing rebuttal as you requested…however, after reading your blog post, I found that nothing written was false. Except maybe the part where I “bragged” about taking a nap. I did not realize that responding to “What did you do tonight?” with “I did some laundry and took a nap,” constituted bragging. I’ll work on that particular character flaw.

Since there were no falsehoods in your blog other than that minor difference of opinion, I will simply offer reminders about Life in general. We’ll call it your Wife Reality Check.

Yes, dear, I did take a nap while the Chipmunk was sleeping…you will remember that I was up from 3:00-5:00am the night before with a wide awake 5-month-old, and then got up at 6:00am for work as usual. Usually, this entitles a person to nap for a bit. Also, please take note that calling over and over while someone is napping is generally frowned upon by the Napper and tends to prevent any napping from actually taking place. Check.

I also agree with the sobering reality that there was not a single clean bottle in the house. Please be advised (again) that Tuesday is your day to do dishes. I always look forward to the game of roulette on Wednesdays as to whether or not I am able to feed our child in a sanitary manner. Thank you for providing me with this simple form of entertainment. Check.

Once again, I must concur that pacifiers are particularly scarce at the moment. I’m sure once the 3 behind the crib are fetched by the person who left them there, the problem will be solved. Take note that, as always, there are emergency pacifiers in both of our diaper bags, as well as a clean one on the drying rack by the sink. Check.

I will admit that leaving the beeping, popping baby monitor in the room with me was the highlight of my night. I applaud your 26 minute effort to reprogram the baby monitor on a new frequency and hold no ill-will toward you for giving up and oh-so-delicately stomping from the room with your pillow in tow. Perhaps you are unfamiliar with the principal of Ockham’s Razor? “Simpler explanations are, other things being equal, generally better than more complex ones.” After your graceful departure, the beeping problem was solved once the monitor was moved 6 inches to the right. Check.

So, my dear, once again you are completely right. I know how much you love to hear that!

Yours Always,

Your Loving Wife

The Rookie Dad

The Rookie Dad is father of 2, husband, TV Producer, runner, and co-founder of Dads Round Table and a contributor to Traveling Dad and Good Men Project.

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