So apparently, my first letter didn’t work! Did you not receive it? Or did you chose to ignore it? I’m going to take a guess that you chose to ignore it. When you saw it you thought to yourself that you love daddy so much that you’re going to go above and beyond and make him even more frustrated!
Well you succeeded! I’m exhausted! You’ve waken me up twice every night this week and screamed bloody murder every time! Can I ask what is going on? Are you having nightmares and need to be close to mommy and daddy? I would be ok if that is the answer. If you are just trying to play with daddy, can I ask you please to stop?
Daddy, wasn’t so pleasant today even with three cups of coffee. I think I might start taking coffee out of your allowance! Consider it a loan every time you wake me up at night, that’s another cup of coffee.
I will play nice and say that you have waken me up 60 times. That is a quarter of a container of Folger’s. If you continue to wake me up at a rate of 2 times a night 5 nights a week, that’s 10 times a week and in a matter of 18 weeks 8 bucks will be taken out of your allowance so that I can buy another container of coffee.
I’m hoping that this seems like a fair punishment at your young age. When you are old enough, I will explain to you what you did and the punishment. Hopefully, this will keep you from waking me up any more!
William, I love you and I am only doing this out of love because you know how much of a nicer person daddy is when he sleeps.