We need to not only tell our sons how to treat people but be able to show them and be an example to them.
My boys are far from dating. If you talk to my wife, she will say that they won’t date until they are at least 20. It is a time frame that we will continue to argue talk about. I am of the opinion that you don’t know who you want to spend the rest of your life with until you have dated some of the best and worst there is out there. Trust me, I have and ended up with the best there is.
When we found out that we were about to have another boy, part of me was upset. I wanted to be the dad who questioned the boy that is about to take my daughter out on a date. I wanted to stay up late waiting for her and been asking a thousand questions when she came home from her first date. I don’t own a gun, but if we had a girl, I would have one just so I could hold it at the front porch waiting for her to come home.
Yes, I wanted to be that dad.
Me being me, I look at it from a different perspective. I have two boys, those two boys will eventually start dating and taking the daughters of another dad out. A dad who will probably do exactly what I listed above. They will be waiting on their front porch with their shotgun. Waiting until they see that my son brought their daughter home safe.
So many parents of daughters get uptight over who their daughters are dating, rightfully so. The other is that I won’t have to go bra shopping or explaining to her what “that” aisle of female personal items is in Target.
I don’t want the dads of the daughters my boy’s date to feel like they have to be that stereotypical dad though. With so many reports out there about men/boys who harass, exploit, rape, or what have you the women they are with that I don’t blame father’s of daughters to react the way that they do when their daughter’s go out on a date.
I can remember the first time I talked to a dad who’s daughter was getting ready to start dating and he was very nervous. He didn’t know the boy. Which didn’t make things any easier on him. I can understand his feelings though. I can say that I want dads of the daughters my son is dating to feel a certain way. It is easier said than done. I get that.
This might be the small town roots in me coming out. We live in a town of nearly two million. More than likely any girl that my boy decides to date the parents probably won’t know him. Growing up in a town of close to 7000 we knew just about everyone. The parents knew just about everyone and more than likely knew your parents. For me, my dad was a teacher. One that was well liked by his students. Whoever I dated the parents knew me. Which gave my parents reason to raise me to treat people with respect.
Now, our son is getting ready to enter kindergarten and while he might be a years away from dating someone. Now (I say now knowing that I also mean the last 5 years) is the time that we need to start instilling in him that treating people with respect to gain the trust of his friends parents.
This is where as parents of boys we come into play. We need to be able to raise our boys to be upstanding citizens. That are respected not only in school but in the community. We need to not only tell our sons how to treat people but be able to show them and be an example to them. That means showing them the type of man we want them to be.
It all starts with us.