Human Jungle Gym

When did the words ‘Jungle Gym” become implanted on my forehead?

I am sitting on the couch and guess who is crawling all over me?

I am laying on the floor and guess who is sitting on my face?

The Kid. That is who!

It would not be so bad if he still had some of his baby fat, but he does not. He is worse than a hockey player at throwing the elbows into my side and gut. Then there are the times when he does not know what he is doing but he is pushing down on my groin area.


I am going to need to start wearing a cup around the Kid. I wonder if he is trying to hint that he wants to be the only child or if he has seen one to many episodes of Family Guy and is trying to pull of a Stewie, by killing of my swimmers. Not to mention, I thought it would be a good idea to give him a baseball at this young of an age.

© The Rookie Dad

Let me be the first to say… Bad idea Rookie Dad!


  1. thelifeofjamie March 13, 2012 at 9:46 AM

    I hate the elbows, I get an elbow in the sternum, the gut, the thigh. I hate the elbows!!!

    1. therookiedad March 13, 2012 at 9:49 AM

      I get elbows in all those places too! The moment he starts to put all his weight on that arm makes it hurt something awful!

  2. Jeremy Gradney March 13, 2012 at 10:28 PM

    I have two small boys and they hang on me all the time. Wouldn’t trade it for anything.

    1. therookiedad March 14, 2012 at 9:03 AM

      Don’t get me wrong, I love it when he comes up and starts crawling all over me… however when you get an elbow to the groin it hurts.


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