Son, I have not been the best dad lately. I will be the first one to tell you that. I have worked long hours to help provide for our family and when I get home I am exhausted. I really do not feel like playing because I just do not have the energy.
This morning when your mother was getting ready, and to be frank, I was sitting on my butt in bed, a question arose that effected your personal hygiene. Part of what has made me a bad dad lately is that I can not remember the last time you took a bath. That however, was not the question that made me feel bad. I bet that your friends Tucker and Samuel at daycare probably wouldn’t take notice if you haven’t taken a bath. Let’s be honest here, you probably smell like your last meal anyway since none of it ends up in your mouth. The question that made me feel bad was,
When was the last time we brushed your teeth?
To which was answered with “I don’t remember.” It sparked the feeling of failure as a parent. I can’t keep up with my kids life. I’m sorry about that son. No matter how exhausted I am from work, I should want to get down and play trains with you. I should still want to run around the kitchen with you. There are times though, that life gets in the way.
Your dad has been dealing with alot lately. My birthday is coming up which is making me feel old, while not a milestone birthday, I have learned that I am not who I was 5, 7, 10 years ago. I wish I was sometimes, but I am not. Everyday, I am having to make responsible choices, like whether or not have a beer and watch late night television or go to sleep. It is a choice 5 years ago that would have been easier, one that would not have made me feel so old. Now, the choice has been made for me, I can’t watch late night television because I have to be up at 6am to get you and your mother out the door for school. Sending you off to school just makes that “old” feeling I am having even greater. I never imagined at the age of 27, I would be doing this sort of thing. I would not take it back though. I love my life, it is just this growing old part that I don’t like.
Your mother is also moving into a different part of her life. She is a college student. Her life is now revolving around keeping her nose in books and staying up-to-date with the social side of being a college student. Coming home and telling me stories about this and that, to which I am unable to keep up. Again, 5-7 years ago, I would have been able to keep up. Now, I can barely keep up with brushing your teeth.
Son, this is how it is sometimes. Life gets in the way. Things happen that are outside of your control but you just have to put your nose to the grindstone and keep on truckin’. Hopefully, you will understand that since I added the word truck in it. You and I are about to celebrate another birthday, we are both one year wiser. In my old age, let me tell you this, do NOT let go of your youth. I am hoping to get mine back here soon, real soon, and I hope that you will be able to teach me something about being young again.