Our minds are not programmed to think and deal with the random things that happen in our life. We are only able to store patterns/routines. If something throws off our routine it feels as though our life is going hill, sometimes fast.
The problem, is that life is random.
I am a product of my family and extended family. Most of us married in our 20’s and had kids shortly there after. That was just what I knew, it was just what I thought the routine of life should be. I’ll be honest, I have been pretty happy with that routine. It has brought me the most incredible wife, an awesome son, and an overall happiness in life. A life that has become routine, which I have no problem with saying.
But having a kid can disrupt the routine of life, daily. Say that you are used to waking up like me, getting ready, turning on whatever news network or Sportscenter you watch in the morning, have your cup of coffee and get caught in the world all before leaving for work. Having a child changes that.
It could change it to you getting up, getting ready, then fighting your kid as they get up, fixing them breakfast, while they are watching PBS Kids, all without you even getting a cup of coffee. It then throws off your entire day at work and your colleagues are wondering why you are so grumpy. Not that I have any experience in this area or anything.
Or look at it like this, you leave early from work, getting into a car accident on your way home. You start to think that if you had just stuck to your routine the accident wouldn’t have happened and now for the next month while your car is in the body shop, you are in a rental car, throwing off your routine yet again as you get used to a car that you will only have temporarily.
We can’t avoid random things happening in our life. It is how we react to them.
Take our morning routine for example. I’ve finally (why it took me so long is beyond me) learned to program the coffee maker the night before so I have coffee. I also have started to stream Sportscenter on my phone (yeah for technology) but at the same time I use it as a threat when I’m waking up my son. I will tell him that if he doesn’t get up, I will be watching Sportscenter on the TV and he won’t be able to watch PBS Kids.
For the month while my car was in the shop, I had a rental car. I took it as a time to rent a car that was bigger than our current Honda Civic and Toyota Prius. I figured out the advantages of having a bigger car, at least one car that was bigger than what we have now, and decided that if we have another child (which is on the way) we are going to need a bigger vehicle to get our growing family.
The problem with kids is that the routine is constantly changing. In the first year think about how many times you would ask yourself, have we gone from 3 naps a day to 2? Then eventually that drops to 1 and then none. It can seem that as soon as we get used to one routine it is time to start another one.
Parenthood is all about adapting to the randomness of life. There is nothing routine about children.
But would we have it any other way?