I have a major confession to make.

I struggle with commitment. 

I’ve struggled with a commitment to being the best father I can be (there are days that I strive to just be average) my health, my mental health, my blog, photography, and my job. Sometimes I struggle with just one of these at a time other times, I am struggling with every one of them at the same time. 

At this moment, as I write this, I am struggling with every one of them but my mental health. I can say for certain that I’m in a good head space despite going through something that for some would send them down a hole that they would have a hard time getting out of. 

Photo by Brett Jordan on Unsplash

I am struggling with my health. I’ve tried to get back into the physical shape that I was in nearly two years ago. At that time I was going to the gym two to three times a week and running close to 4-5 miles at a time. Now, I have just a hard time getting out to run two miles. I’m eating much more on a daily basis than I normally do. There are many evenings in which I sit down to watch some TV and decompress from the day and I grab a snack… something that isn’t all too healthy at that. 

I’ve struggled with being committed to my blog. Yes, I’m admitting it and that is a hard thing for me to say, There was a time when I said I would have loved to have made this blog my livelihood. Now I am just happy if I can find the time and the energy to write, take the photos, and hit publish. I have the ideas for things that I want to write about, and they are written down on a to-do list that sends automatic reminders to my phone. But the moment my phone goes off with that notification, I swipe it away to forget. The Rookie Dad has been part of my life for over 10 years now and I don’t want it to come to an end just yet. 

This same struggle with my blog has translated into a struggle with keeping my local Kansas City Dads Group afloat that I am the organizer for. COVID did put a damper on many of the meetups that we would host on a monthly basis. However, now that things are slowly starting to open up, I find my drive to schedule a meetup with the dads and go out to physically meet them is exhausting. 

I struggle just about every day with just picking up my camera to take photos. There are nights that I go to bed and I tell myself that I’m going to wake up early and head out to take some sunrise photos at some of the local parks… but the warmth of my bed is too enticing. Or there is always something that pops up that prevents me from heading out in the evening and just walking around our neighborhood, park, or downtown. My youngest, never wants me to take pictures of him, it’s almost as if he is scared of the camera in some way. 

There are times that I go through spurts with these struggles. I make attempts to get my to-do list started again only to be followed either a day or two later with falling off the wagon. There is the realization that I have gone through hell over this last year. In the past, I would be one to make excuses, however, I don’t want to be that guy now. I want to own up to my struggles. I could very easily make an excuse for letting these areas of my life fall to the side. But when I think of my father’s death, and think of the man that he was, he would not be one to make an excuse. He would be the type of person who would do whatever it takes to accomplish any task that he puts his mind to. 

That is the person that I want to be. 

Photo by Andy Dutton on Unsplash

All of these struggles that I have listed are ones that I don’t want to give up on. They are the commitments I want to make in my personal life beyond being a father and husband. These are the commitments that will help me better in both of those areas of my life while giving me an outlet and a time and place to get the decompression time that I need. 

I want to keep my commitment to these particular areas in my life. Here I’m going to lay out my plan to help me overcome them and push myself to become the person that I want to be. But I’m not going to just lay out what I am going to do, I am going to ask you all for your help. I’m going to ask you to hold me accountable… and I will tell you how to do that. 

My plan to overcome my struggle with commitment

  • Get more physically fit and make healthier choices
    • Go to the gym 2 times a week. 
    • Run 3 times a week.
    • Buy more fruits and vegetables at the grocery store
    • Take the dog for a walk in the evenings
  • Write more on my blog and be more active on social media
    • Write once a week
      • Get back to finding those little moments in the week
      • Don’t write just for the readers or what people are Googling for… get back to blogging just for fun. 
  • Become a better photographer
    • Do more photography walks
    • Spend time watching Skillshare to improve on all photography skills
      • Composing photographs
      • Editing photographs

I know what is missing from these goals, and that is an endpoint. What do I consider being more physically fit? What does it mean to improve my photography skills? That is something that I haven’t figured out at this point. I know the things that I need get better at, but for now, I don’t know what the endpoint is. 

In terms of how I’m going to hold myself accountable for these. This is where you all come in. I’m going to share in my journey to improve in these areas on social media. By doing that, it will help me reach the goal of being more active on social media as well. You all will be able to follow along to see what I’m doing and will be able to even ping me and say, “Hey, I haven’t seen you going to the gym recently how is that going?” 

There are things that we all want to be committed to but just don’t have the time or energy. My hope is that by laying this out there and showing people that it’s ok to struggle with our commitments, but it is what we do once we realize it that will help you reach your goals. 

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